BREAKING NEWS: Star Wars Creator George Lucas Has Been Murdered By Sand People

Source: Joi Ito, CC BY 2.0, cropped

(Source: Joi Ito, CC BY 2.0, cropped)

Earlier this morning, Police attended the Sky Walker Ranch in Marin, California, where they found the deceased body of Sci-Fi legend George Lucas.

The Police believe sand people are responsible for the murder, due to the pinpoint accuracy of the blaster wounds, and because they had been seen on the ranch in the weeks prior to Lucas’s death.

George Lucas was best known for writing Star Trek, and for his role in directing the blockbuster hits Halo: Invasion Of Reach, 21 Jump Suits, and the award winning masterpiece Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

Although we will never see him credited in the history books for being the first man to walk on the moon, he will be remembered for creating one of the most racist characters of all time in the film Star Wars Episode 3: The Attack Of The Phantom Sith.

When Star Wars was first announced for T.V. in the late 1960s, everybody assumed it was going to be a show based on the Vietnam war.

This original script followed a Vietnamese infantry squad as they faced the horrors of the south-east Asian jungle, trying to liberate their people from the influence of the US war machine.

When Disney received this script, they decided they needed to change 2 key aspects.

First, they decided to set the story in outer space instead of the south-east Asian Jungle, as they thought viewers might be able to relate to this setting more easily.

Secondly, Warner Brothers demanded that the villains, instead of being American soldiers, would be space travelling Nazi’s led by a 700 year old Namekian warrior named Yolo (translated to Yoda in English.)

With these small changes, Star Wars went on to become the beloved romantic comedy that I clearly know nothing about.

I should probably stop dropping acid at work.