(Source: HBO, Fair Use)
The season 6 finale of Game of Thrones was, in a single word, spectacular. It was quite possibly the best 70 minutes of television that has ever aired, and we really don’t want to have to wait three quarters of a year for the next season.
But we can’t always get what we want, and George R.R. Martin has made this abundantly clear with his threat to kill new fan favorite – Lyanna Mormont – in the most gruesome way imaginable.
“This shit gets me off,” Martin gleefully told fans after watching the Tommen suicide scene at a midnight screening of the season 6 finale.
“Every time you guys find a new favorite character, I take a little notebook out of my back pocket and start coming up with cruel ways to kill them.”
“The internet is on fire with funny pictures and memes, so there is no doubt in my mind that the the new fan fave is Lyanna Mormont.”
Martin, who is well known for killing off main characters seemingly at random, went on to announce his plans for the young Lady.
“You all thought it was messed up when I had the princess Shireen burned alive, didn’t you?” Martin asked fans.
“That was tame. I barely even got a half chub when I came up with that. No, Lyanna’s death will be especially gruesome, even by Game of Thrones standards.”
“Will I have her torn limb from limb? Or how about I have an army of hungry crows eat her alive?” Martin began to cackle as his fans wept uncontrollably.
“It doesn’t matter what I decide to do to her, you people will all react the same way.”
“You’ll cry, you’ll complain, and you’ll threaten to boycott. But then at the end of the day, when you’ve run out of tears to cry and petitions to sign, you’ll come crawling back to papa Georgie, begging for more like the little whores that you are.”