(Source: Unknown, Fair Use)
Exactly one year ago today, then Prime Minister Tony Abbott consumed one whole, raw, unpeeled onion in front of a crowd of shocked and confused onlookers.
It was a moment that went down in Australian history as the single greatest thing a Prime Minister had ever done, and until today, most Aussies assumed they would never see anything that could rival it.
Enter Malcolm Turnbull.
After ousting Abbott in September of last year, Turnbull knew that if he wanted to keep his new job as PM, he was going to have to pull out the big guns and beat Abbott at his own game.
When asked if he feared what Turnbull was planning, Abbott had this to say: “Am I the best PM Australia has ever had? No, definitely not. Was I a good PM? Again, the answer is no.”
“But if you ask me if I ate a whole raw onion on live T.V., I’m the only one who’s going to be able to look you in the eye and say ‘Yes.'”
And then Turnbull struck.
Earlier this morning, on the one year anniversary of Abbott’s onion munching rampage, Malcolm Turnbull announced to Australia that he was going to attempt to eat 2 whole, raw, unpeeled onions on live T.V. later on in the day.
The Internet was ablaze.
Children ran home from school to tell their parents, and parents ran home from work to tell their children. Entire families sat in front of the telly, eyes glued, to watch their Prime Minister and hero attempt the impossible; to watch Malcolm Turnbull eat 2 raw onions.
“I did it first. I ate an onion a full year ago, and let me tell you something, Mr Turnbull won’t be able to eat 2 of them. Nobody can. It’s fucking impossible,” said an angry Tony Abbott in the leadup to the event.
And then, just as everybody was sitting at the edge of their couches, waiting for a miracle to happen, it happened.
Turnbull bit into the first onion, swallowed, and then took another bite. He kept biting, and after 5 minutes, both onions had been consumed.
“Suck it Tony,” Turnbull shouted after he victoriously swallowed the last oniony slice.
The crowd that had formed around him erupted in a roar. Their leader had done the unthinkable, the impossible, and the inconceivable all at once.
Mr Turnbull had finally earned the title of Prime Minister of Australia.