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MELBOURNE, VIC – In what came as a surprise to many of his friends and family, local man John Waters, 44, made headlines after admitting that he was unsure why the nation was still apologizing to Aboriginals every year on the 26th of May.
“I guess I just don’t really know what we’re apologizing for,” Waters was overheard saying at a friends BBQ.
“Like, sure, I’ll admit some pretty bad stuff happened to the indigenous people when the white man invaded, but that was hundreds of years ago.”
“I didn’t personally steal any Aboriginal children, so why should I apologize?”
After having his opinion challenged by a friend, Waters, a staunch Liberal supporter and prominent member of Reclaim Australia, began a one-sided rant.
“You don’t hear me whinging about how hard my ancestors had it when they had to cross over to Australia in moldy old boats,” Waters complained.
“So why do they get to keep bringing up the past?”
“As far as I’m concerned, they’ve got a better life now than they did way back then, so if anything they should be thanking us.”
It wasn’t until Waters suggested that “national sorry day” be replaced with “national thank the invaders day” that he was physically removed from the BBQ.