Minecraft 2.0 has been in development for quite a while now, but earlier this morning Microsoft announced that the biggest update EVER will be coming out early next month.
As well as announcing the release date, Microsoft gave us some juicy info about what the update will contain, as well as how much it will cost.
Here’s the best part: It’s going to be free.
Microsoft, a company known for selling bloated, outrageously overpriced software, seems to be trying a new approach with their latest version of Minecraft.
“Looking at other popular games on the market, it’s become very clear that FREE-2-PLAY is the way of the future,” Microsoft spokesman Allen Jeffrey told reporters.
“In fact, we’ve realized that we can make a lot more money by making the base game free, and then hitting the players with DLC and other premium content later on.”
“In the biz, we call it ‘freemium’, and get this – players are actually dumb enough to think that they’re the ones getting a good deal.”
“All you have to do is mention the word ‘free’, and gamers go nuts. They love it. We’re probably going to triple profits this year.”
When asked about what types of DLC and/or ‘premium’ content would be included in the Minecraft 2.0 release, Jeffrey took his time to answer as best he could.
“Before we can add any premium content, we need to severely reduce the quality of the base game,” Jeffrey explained, “Because if the game is playable without the premium content, why would anybody pay for DLC?”
“To this end, we decided to remove all multiplayer functionality, as well as the ability to create/use mods, and of course, we removed the creative mode too.”
“The first DLC is called the ‘Diamond Pack’, and will cost around $15 USD. It will give the player about 100 diamond blocks, some diamond pickaxes, and a diamond sword.”
“In order to make it more appealing, we’ve removed diamonds from the base game, so this will be the only way to get diamonds from now on.”
“As well as the ‘Diamond Pack’,” Jeffrey continued, “We’ve also got the ‘Epic Pack’.
“The ‘Epic Pack’ will definitely live up to its name, and will make your Minecraft 2.0 experience truly awesome.”
“Basically, you’ll get about 1000 of every block in the game, as well as a few extra goodies that we can’t tell you about until you buy the pack.”
“The ‘Epic Pack’ will cost $99.”
When asked if the people who had already payed for the game would be receiving a refund, Jeffrey laughed, shook his head, and then laughed again.
“If we’re being honest here, those old players are lucky we didn’t charge $250 for the base game back then,” Jeffrey replied smugly.
“There will be no refunds. Any player who dare asks for a refund will find themselves unable to play the game for the remainder of their short, pitiful life.”